William Petruzzo

On my ipod, I have set up some “Smart Playlists”. Basically, the ipod reads different information about the songs and then compiles playlists based on qualities that I select. One of my playlists is based on the top 500 most played songs. At the bottom of the list are songs that have only been played two or three times all the way up to the top of the list where the songs have seen fifty or sixty plays. I was listening to my top 500 playlist while cleaning the house (there are guests coming over this evening and it’d be nice for them to continue the illusion that I am a clean person… that was mostly a joke). I had finally finished the bulk of the cleaning and I took a seat on a reclining chair in the living room and just listened to the music blaring for a while. Eventually, the Cranberries’ single, Dreams, came on (which by the way has the same melody as the Canadian national anthem). All of a sudden I slipped into this alternate reality where I was in some kind of weird Ferris Bueller’s Day Off type 80’s teen movie. I know, the Cranberries’ song isn’t an 80’s song, but for some reason it reminds me of that time period.

I sat there reclined for a few minutes listening to the song until it eventually ended. It was followed by another fantasy evoking song, Dashboard Confessional’s Don’t Wait. This allowed that I would continue in a similar string of fantasies, just perhaps not so much focused in the 80’s. Following that song came yet another daydream-scape, Kelly Clarkson’s Because of You. Now, I know, this is all pretty weird. Especially that I’d make it public knowledge, but bear with me, it has a point.

After a while, a certain level of conviction set in. It wasn’t based on the music I was listening to, or anything that I was physically doing and so it perplexed me for a few minutes as I sat there and continued to listen. Eventually it dawned on me what exactly it was that was happening in my mind. I was superimposing myself into various whimsical movie-like scenarios in which I was the point. In my mind, I brought all of created history down into a tiny little five minute time frame where I was the leading role and I was doing an excellent job.

I stopped the music and sat quietly for a few minutes. I do not want to indulge wicked fantasies that promote me as the center of the universe. I am reminded that this movie cannot be reduced to two hours and five minutes, a month, a year, a lifetime, even time in general. This is the story of Jesus, by Jesus, for Jesus with all of the glory and honor and praise, to Jesus. I am, according to his grace, an extra at best.

Jesus, I pray that you would remind me daily that my life and all history is by you and for you. That all glory is yours and that I will only find true satisfaction and peace when I take my proper place, as you would direct, in your story. Thank you Jesus for choosing me even for such a small part of your story. God, I pray that you would sanctify me; sanctify your Church. God, get your glory!

Today, I finished reading what I think might be one of the most important extra-biblical books ever written. The book is Of the Mortification of Sin in Believers by John Owen, as found in the collected works book, Overcoming Sin and Temptation. This book has taken me fifteen weeks (to the day) to read and challenged me more than probably any other book I’ve ever read (again, with the exception of the bible).

Mortification deals with the topic of sin with a startling sobriety. At times it’s like a splash of cold water in the face, other times like a warming blanket on a cold night. There were times while reading this book that I felt so unbelievably encouraged and inspired that I was immediately re-energized to move toward holiness—then of course there were other times where Owen’s words cut to the heart and reading it just made me angry; conviction is a funny thing.

I began reading this book originally along with Challies.com; one chapter a week, followed by an online discussion. I found after not too many chapters that the discussion that followed was beginning to commandeer my reading and so some of what should have profoundly affected me simply became intellectual junk food. So, I stopped participating with the group at Challies .com and started reading the book on my own.

We live in a theologically shallow time in the church. Comparatively few people really understand what they mean when they talk about their freedom in Christ, the call to holiness, or the command to go and preach the Gospel. Quite naturally, even fewer people know what to make of the mortification of the flesh. To most the idea sounds like an antiquated, useless, concept in light of Christ’s sacrifice—ironically, they are thoroughly and necessarily in close tandem.

I don’t want to go completely off into left field here (I’ll save left field for some other day), but I would like to touch on something. The trend today would be to minimize theology. To say that there needs to be less theology and more love, or less theology and more service, or less theology and more experiencing the Holy Spirit. The problem is, theology isn’t a bunch of useless intellectual hoo-ha (although some may use it that way). Theology is the study of God, learning about God, learning who he is and what he feels. I’d say that theology is pretty damn important (that’s right, I’m so passionate I used as wear word).

Okay, back on track. In a church environment where theology is minimized and self-expression, individuality and prosperity are emphasized people are bound eventually to end up as humanists, forgetting that people aren’t “essentially good,” they’re essentially bad and as a fallen men and women redeemed by the blood of Christ, it is our responsibility to no longer live “according to the flesh” and so to always “put to death the deeds of the body”. That is precisely what Owen’s text is concerned with.

The first twelve or thirteen chapters deal with preparatory matters of mortification and general thoughts surrounding the action. Then, in the final chapters he moves onto the work itself. Interestingly enough, everything leading up to the actual work of mortification is very practical, but once he moves onto the work itself, he has little practical words for it, because it is in itself a work of the Spirit that is done by faith.

Owen’s literature is not easy to read. The chapters are short (sometimes just two or three pages), but even a good reader can easily take twenty to thirty minutes to really grasp what’s said. For the average reader I would recommend a version published by Banner of Truth that has been abridged and edited for easy reading. This book should be read, and the ideas and concepts should be carefully thought about and prayed about and in most instances, I believe, applied.

There is a punch that’s packed in these puritan’s words that you likely won’t find in modern Christian literature, so I do recommend this book to everyone; particularly the abridged version. I would also highly recommend this reading to groups looking to go through a book together; accountability partners, couples, friends, churches, nations—whatever. Just do it.

Strange as it may seem, this week I’ve been listening a lot to the Counting Crows. Actually, it’s been more like a week and a half. It started when the Serius radio link went out at work and I plugged up my ipod. I needed something to play on really short notice. I found the Counting Crows CD and hit loop. Ever since the songs have been stuck in my head; plus it’s pretty easy music to just put on and forget about.

So, here’s the thing about the Counting Crows. I’m not an especially huge fan. I can remember back in high school/middle school hearing that song Long December on the radio and liking it. I can even remember singing it in the shower. It might have had something to do with social status, or maybe just an overall lack of funds, but I never did purchase a CD from them until recently. Even when I did get my hands on a CD, I think it was Recovering the Satellites, I wasn’t especially crazy about all of the non-single songs on the CD. So truthfully, to this day, I wouldn’t list the Counting Crows and any kind of top ten, or even probably a top 25 (maybe a top 50).

So what the heck am I doing writing about them? Their singles. They’re awesome. The Counting Crows radio songs a great. The hooks are great. The lyrics are great. The music is great. They’re just great. So about a year ago when I found out they had released a Best Of album titled Films About Ghosts I was pretty excited. I picked up the album (although I can’t really remember where, I think it was itunes) and have pretty much thoroughly enjoyed their whole arsenal of singles.

Some of my favorites from their Best Of album are Round Here, Long December, Rain King, Omaha, oh heck, I just really like all the songs. That’s part of why it’s been playing on my ipod for the past week or so—all the songs are great, so you never really need to skip any songs. In fact the only song I skip is Friend of the Devil. It might be superficial, but the title makes me uncomfortable.

So, the conclusion, if you like what you hear from the Counting Crows on the radio, but don’t know where to start, then go pick up their album Films About Ghosts, it will almost certainly not disappoint you with late-nineties pop-folk-rock goodness.

For a book titled Encouragement, I’ve actually found myself kind of discouraged. Now, I ought to clarify that. It’s probably, at least partly, a good discouragement. I’ll elaborate.

Dr. Crabb’s book is basically a beginner level counseling book. He speaks, almost medically, about people’s tendencies, thoughts, feelings, fears, etc. This alone, I don’t think would be terribly useful. However, Dr. Crabb builds relatively well on top of biblical foundation (albeit stretching things sometimes) which allows him to speak with more authority.

While I didn’t agree with everything Dr. Crabb had to say, I completely agree with the overall theme of the book, which is simply this: Rely only on God for everything, and on all occasions hold others above yourself. A pretty simple and elementary message, as some would say, but Dr. Crabb tenderly builds a subtext that clearly reveals the rarity with which we actually practice that message.

Encouragement spends the first twelve chapters dealing with the heart and motive of the encourager and only in the last two chapters does Dr. Crabb move onto encouraging others. He argues (well) that encouragement requires that the encourager’s heart be right in his words and actions. He delves deeply into people’s thoughts and motives behind why they speak and what they choose to speak and how they choose to speak it. The discussion is done with a level of care and intimacy that will almost certainly hit home with the reader.

There were some things that I disagreed with, although they may really just be contextual grievances. I think that Dr. Crabb failed to take into account the varying degrees of relationships. There are clearly times to go to close friends or wives about troubles and pains in life; that wouldn’t necessarily be wrong, and in many cases could likely be encouraging to the other person. However, Dr. Crabb paints a picture of encouragement that makes it sound like encouragers are not ever to voluntarily open up themselves and their grief to another person—barring the circumstance that the other person comes looking for it. It was this that caused me to find myself walking the line of discouragement. However, that point seems to be made, inadvertently, between the lines and I doubt Dr. Crabb would actually say that outright.

Ultimately, this book caused a great deal of introspection in me. It forced a serious evaluation of my thoughts and motives and actions. With time and prayer, I hope that the concepts in this book will bear fruit in my relationships with God and people.

I wouldn’t recommend this book to the casual reader. I could easily see it becoming confusing or even an undue pressure and discouragement if misunderstood. However, anyone able and willing to approach the book, at least kind of academically, will probably find a lot to learn here.

What value does a person, namely a Christian, have? Lots. We are made in the image of God; we’re unique in that we were made to look like him in some respect; Christians, even more so. As creatures, we’re loved above the rest of creation by God. For Christians, unlike the angels who fell, God set into action a plan to rescue us from the dismal failure we created; we’re favored even more highly than the angels. Diamonds are just rocks, but people desperately want them—and so they are valuable. Diamonds are made valuable by those who value them. In much the same way, our value is made by God’s value of us.

Yet somehow, in spite of the knowledge of God giving his completely innocent son to rescue the guilty parties, we still fail to see our chief value in God’s valuing us. Instead we misplace that value into other things; relationships, work, ministry, etc. All the while, the pinnacle of our value has already been reached in Christ. Should the whole world reject us, it’s of no real consequence because the living God has accepted us (Romans 8:1).

Dr. Larry Crabb puts it well saying:

“It is true that Christians are fully accepted by God because of Jesus’ shed blood. For us, there is now no condemnation. But somehow we fail to grasp that God’s acceptance makes anyone else’s rejection no more devastating than a misplaced dollar would be to a millionaire. We foolishly believe that other people’s acceptance represents a legitimate measure of our value. We fear the rejection of people and therefore hide from them.”

I realize in my own life my personal value that I foolishly misplace and put in people’s opinions of me, or in the success of what I set out to do. This naturally cultivates fear in me that Christ’s love stands to cast out (1 John 4:18). When we (and I especially) can live without that fear we’ll find greater freedom to love others selflessly according to the commands of our Lord.

Jesus, help me to place my own value squarely in you. Jesus, I pray for the church that we, together, would stop looking in other things, for what can only truly be found in you. Holy Spirit, strengthen and sanctify us, for the sake of your glory. God, get your glory!

I think that it would be a difficult argument to make to say that God respects men; that he gives men their space and does not interfere. That there is some place where God’s freedom ends, and man’s freedom begins. Throughout the whole Old Testament, it’s clear that God does what he wishes and that all things end up working for his will; although he does not author sin, sin does in fact end up serving his purposes.

I have been studying Romans 9 today and the topic of God’s freedom versus our freedom has been on my mind. The immediate context of chapter nine is Paul’s discussion about God’s freedom to choose Jacob over Esau; Israel over the Edomites. Although it’s not expressly what he is talking about, there are some very important observations we can make from this text.

In Romans 9:15 Paul quotes God’s words to Moses saying, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” When talk about Man’s freedom versus God’s freedom that becomes a very difficult verse to wrestle with. If God’s freedom at any point were to bump into man’s freedom, either that verse would be left null and void, or else God would have to violate man’s freedom and man would no longer be free. I suggest that while man is indeed free, his freedom does not stand along side God’s but rather inside God’s.

In order for God to be truly sovereign as we see him all throughout the whole Old Testament (and I would argue even more clearly in the New Testament, but that’s for another day) his freedom would have to be limitless. There cannot be two sovereign beings; if at any point they were to sit in contrast to one another both would cease to be sovereign. God is sovereign, man is not. Therefore, God’s freedom extends to infinity, man’s freedom ends somewhere. I suggest that man’s freedom comes to an end at the point in which God, in his freedom, chooses to fence it in.

In the United States, we have freedom to do many things. Politically, there are very few serious bounds on us. We can travel, learn, protest, worship, evangelize. We are free, but not completely. Our government doesn’t give us complete freedom. I cannot walk into my neighbor’s house and take things from him without his permission. If I were to do so, there would be negative consequences. Our freedom is set inside of our government. In much the same way, our freedom is set inside of God’s freedom who may give us more or less freedom based on his prerogative and kind will.

In our own faith we see a model of this concept. If our will were completely free, then God giving us grace and mercy unto salvation would cause his will to bump into ours. What if we didn’t want salvation? (and we wouldn’t). Then God would not have the freedom to give us salvation. This would invalidate God’s sovereignty. Man cannot be completely free, because then God could not be completely free; that would be both dreadful for us and totally unscriptural. Man’s freedom must exist within God’s freedom where God sets the bounds of our freedom.

Jesus, thank you for the finished revelation of your Word. Jesus, I pray that you would take any knowledge we may find of you and make it useful for our sanctification and your glory. Jesus, within the bounds of our freedom that you have set out, make us a more pleasing offering to you. Help us to live and love, for your glory, in all humility. God, get your glory.

About a week ago I read on Challies.com that Sovereign Grace Ministries was looking for a handful of bloggers to give their new CD a listen. So I sent the gentleman from Sovereign Grace an email and told him that I’d be willing to listen and probably write a spot about it. A few days back the CD arrived in the mail and since then I’ve been working through it and thinking and worshipping with it. Here’s my thoughts.

On a purely musical level, this CD can’t stand up against the “big dogs” in the Christian music industry. You won’t be hearing any of these things on your daily inspiration radio station. Odds are you won’t be seeing posters in your churches sporting the Sovereign Grace Music team coming to town. The vocals are sufficient, but clearly not professional. The instrumentals are adequate but won’t knock anyone’s socks off (I guess that’s a good thing; especially if it’s cold outside). But here’s the good news, I’m pretty sure that’s not the point.

This album is expressly for the purpose of aiding people in worship. So, no it’s probably not going to stand up to the scrutinizing ears of American Christian Culture. However, as anyone who has really engaged in worship through music knows, it’s not about the music itself. It’s clear that there was great care taken in crafting the words to the songs on this album. Theologically, they’re sound. Spiritually, they’re profound.

The vocals at times almost seem to mirror the heart of ancient hymns. Many songs are purely written in praise and adoration of Christ. When the individual is introduced in some way in the song, the focus remains reverently on God. In an atmosphere of man-centered worship songs, these lyrics are a breath of fresh air.

You Are Good stands out as a holistic gem, skillfully covering the lyrics, vocals and instrumentals. We used this song in a worship gathering recently. Although no one knew the song by heart, it seemed to be accepted well. Another that stands out well is Lord You Are Gracious, sung by a female vocalist, it beckons many profound thoughts.

I would recommend this album to anyone who would like to introduce some new tools for personal and corporate worship in song; it’s not a toy, it’s a tool. I would especially recommend this album to worship leaders to learn and tweak and to lead their congregations with.

God really blessed this night. It came after a string of two or three days of rough conversations, difficult interactions, and emotional and spiritual failures on my part. Needless to say the day came upon me while I was discouraged.

After a particularly difficult conversation this afternoon, I was invited to join a good friend’s youth group to serve a group of homeless people and eat dinner with them. I was asked to take photographs of the kids serving—something that I very quickly found myself convicted for. Once the men and women came in, I tried to find some way to take the pictures without making it look like we thought we were better than them. I found it almost impossible; probably because that’s exactly the problem with it. It wasn’t long before I just put the stupid camera away and tried my best to love them as fellow humans, created by God in his image. I met some beautiful people.

One couple stands out especially in my mind; Emery, Tasha and their thirteen month old son, Logan. Emery’s father was deported and his mother was forced t move down south. Emery and Tasha got pregnant very young forcing Emery to quit school and Tasha to quit her job. On Emery’s salary, they weren’t able afford their apartment and a few days ago they got evicted. They’ve been pseudo living in a church trying to figure out how to make some money. I had the great privilege of playing with Logan and talking to Emery. Emery is ashamed because he feels unable to provide for his son. But he loves his son deeply and that will go a long way. Being that the couple is close to my own age, I hope to be able to build a friendship with them.

After giving my phone number to Emery, the lot of us headed back home. I and a group of others headed back to my house where we worshipped in song and shared communion together. It truly was a great blessing.

So why do I share all this? I guess I’m not sure that there’s a really great reason. I am greatly humbled by those who God allowed me to meet tonight and I’m encouraged by the worship God provided for us give tonight.

Thank you Jesus for having provided so abundantly. Thank you Jesus for loving us, for coming for us, the dying for us, for saving us. Jesus, I pray that you would invade Emery and Tasha’s hearts and bring them to salvation. Jesus, I pray for Logan as he grows, I pray that by some act of your providence you would allow him to be raised according to your truth. Humble me more deeply Jesus, sanctify your church, God!

A pastor at my church spoke at the evening service that I attend about the “the little things” that we let slip by. He spoke out of an obscure verse—Exodus 4:24-26—in which Moses had neglected to circumcise his son. A crime for which God was about to kill him, but his wife instead circumcises the boy with a sharp rock (ouch) then places the severed flesh at Moses’ feet. The gist of the message was that the little things that we choose to overlook will eventually kill us. A message that I wholeheartedly agree with.

Toward the end of his message, he asked that we examine ourselves to find if there were any places of our lives that we knew of in which we neglected something “small”. With all of my well disguised pride, I sat pensively considering his question. Though the monologue in my head saying “Gee, I just can’t think of anything” was much to loud to think much of anything else. Finally though, I heard an almost audible voice in my head saying, “But Bill, what about all that illegally downloaded music that you have from before you were a Christian?” I of course immediately responded, “Well that doesn’t count because of… well…” At that point it was clear that I was under conviction and if I did anything other than submit I would have been making things very uncomfortable (and dangerous) for myself. I resolved at that point to return home after the service and delete the music from my ipod.

Just as had been decided, I returned home and began at the top of the list deleting things that I didn’t own. I quickly realized that this was going to be a painful process. During the church service when the decision was made, I could only think of the music that I never really listened to. Of course when I got home, I found that much of what I was deleting was actually some of my favorite music. Uncomfortable as it was, I’m convinced that it doesn’t compare to the discomfort that would come along with refusing to do it. So in about 35 minutes I went from 13,500 songs to about 7,500 songs.

I don’t say any of this in order to make myself seem righteous, or to boast in any way. I say it for a number of other reasons.

First of all, my ipod and music collection have remained something like a stronghold for me. I’ve always thought something like, “I could give up pretty much anything… except all that music.” So for me, this is a great time to praise God for having provided the strength to do what is right, and deny myself; something that already has produced good fruit.

Secondly, I use this as a means of admonishment. In the lives of you who are reading this, there is something that you hold on to that you are under conviction for. I plead with you to relinquish it! God will provide you the strength necessary and your obedience will give God his glory, and give way to a more full and satisfying walk with the Lord.

Jesus, I pray again that you would sanctify us, your church, to bring you more glory and allow us more satisfaction in you! Get your glory, God!

When I began reading Thomas Watson’s The Lord’s Supper I was expecting, and probably seeking, a better idea of the biblical teaching of the sacrament of communion. What I got was actually much more beautiful.

This book is almost more of a large pamphlet than a book, finishing at just eighty-six pages. I thought when I began I would start it and finish it all in one day. I quickly decided to take it slowly. Watson clearly writes to a group of people who already share a common understanding of the sacrament, as so he makes no defense for any kind of theological standpoint. Instead, as with most Puritan literature, he focuses primarily and consistently on the cross and the implications that it bears for us.

Watson calls us back consistently to undertake the difficult task of examining ourselves, particularly in the context of the sacrament. However, readers who earnestly consider his words will in all likelihood find them permeating their daily walks.

I ended up reading this book like a daily devotional. Taking just a few pages at a time and thinking about them, praying about them, and considering how what was said might affect my life. So what might have taken only a matter of hours on an intellectual level, took more than a week on a spiritual level. I regret no part of that.

In classic literature such as the puritans, it can sometimes seem like your reading a completely different language. As far as ease of reading goes, Watson falls on the easier side. The most difficult part of this book for modern readers will probably be a sometimes unusual vocabulary and occasionally a strange sentence structure.

All in all, I would recommend this book to Christians; particularly those interested in finding deeper love for Jesus, gratitude for the cross, and humility of heart. What honest Christian doesn’t want that?